SKYFALL - movie review

First of all I have just got to get this off my chest. OMG Daniel Craig runs funny in Skyfall. Not sure what’s happened to him in the last four years since QoS but he looks really strange now. Even more so than Tom Cruise when he runs fast. Very strange. Right, good, glad I’ve got that off my chest.

Right pretty much everyone has seen it so this isn’t going to be a massive review, more a collection of my thoughts about the movie. Brace yourself

Skyfall is by far the best Bond movie Daniel Craig has been in. I have niggles which I’ll go to in a moment, which really aren’t that big a deal when the overall movie is so good.

Please be aware that there will be spoilers and some big ones at that so if you’ve not watched Skyfall I suggest you read no further until you have. Otherwise this review might just piss you off a little.

The script for this movie is pretty awesome brining in a great villain in the shape of Javier Bardem. His first scene with Bond is a joy to behold with some wonderful verbal sparring and even some flirting, which is just cracking stuff. There’s a little bit of a lull in the first half of the movie until Bardem makes an appearance but nothing to make you drop off to sleep over. Judi Dench as M is rather wonderful too, they have made her character so important to these new Bond films that the decision to kill her off at the end does seem a bit mystifiying to me and even makes me ponder whether that is a HUGE mistake. However when you think that the replacement is Ralph Fiennes, who is introduced in this film as the character of Mallory, you do think that perhaps it isn’t. Dench’s scenes with both Craig and Bardem are superbly written and played to the hilt by the actors. The music in the film is a little bit of a mixed bag. Thankfully we finally get some Bond theme in some of the action and at other various places which is awesome but I did find overall the score for this film a bit erratic overblown for my tastes. At times the music get very mellow dramatic and was not a patch on the scores David Arnold has produced in the previous five movies. Bring him back for the next one please.

Skyfall opens brilliantly with a fantastic action scene, laced with some nice humour. Craig has got comfortable now as Bond and it shows as he effortlessly flits between hard bastard and smooth talker. Something that he was not so good at in the first two movies. the opening scene seagues beautifully into the opening song by Adele which is wonderful. After this is does get a bit talky and this is the slow part until Bardem makes an appearance. Once he’s on screen things really kick off and build up a head of steam to a rather fun ‘Straw Dogs’ like ending. Cinematography is stunning, this could be the best looking Bond film ever made. The aforementioned actors are all at the top of their game and have been expertly directed by Sam Mendes. Sadly where Mendes lets himself down for me is in the action stakes.

After the superb opening action scene and one stunningly shot fight in a room of glass the rest of the action for me was all a bit ordinary. Nothing really got me excited. The Straw Dogs lite ending was particularly disappointing and whoever decided that Craig and Bardem wouldn’t have a proper toe to toe punch up at the end needs to be fucking shot. The whole film seemed to be building up to these two brilliant agents having a final confrontation, a Skywalker Vs Vader if you will and what happens. Bond throws a knife in his back and Bardem staggers a bit and drops dead. That definitely annoyed the fuck out of me. So if Mendes is gonna be hired for the next film, please for the love of 007 hire an action director for the other bits because you only have to look again at Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace to see the action scenes in those film piss all over anything in Skyfall. Bond needs awesome action. This one just doesn’t have it for me.

Another thing that ticked me off is having the gun barrel scene at the end of the film. This to me is a totally pointless place to have it as I always found the gun barrel bits got me excited for the film I was about to watch. It’s the warm up act before we go into the pre-credits bit. This is a teeny niggle but I want that feeling of being a kid watching a Bond movie.

So I found the action disappointing but the rest of the film is so good that I can live with some not so awesome action. But because of that I can’t say this is the best Bond film ever as a lot of other reviews would have it. It’s better than Casino and Quantum but just imagine if this one had had some the terrific action of those films in it. Oooh now that would be amazing. Still ultimately this does the best thing it can do. It makes you really excited for the next movie, which seeing as this one has taken more money than any other Bond film in history means they’ll probably be getting their skates on now. Roll on 18th February when Skyfall is out on DVD and roll on Bond 24

DREDD - Film Review

Pretty much following a day on the job for Judge Dredd (Karl Urban) this has the eponymous Judge tasked with evaluating rookie Cassandra Anderson (Olivia Thirlby) as a training day to see if she’s got what it takes to be a street judge. Anderson is also a psychic, one of the reasons the Chief Judge wants to see how she’ll cope ‘in the field’. Dredd takes the rookie out and tells her to choose where they are going. Anderson picks an incident at the megablok Peach Trees, three skinned bodies have been thrown from one of the 200 floors and landed in the main ground floor planade. This is to start a series of events which will see the two Judges locked into the megablok and facing a war against hundreds of criminals tasked with killing them by the ruthless crime lord, Ma-Ma (Lena Headley).


The last time Judge Dredd was ‘attempted’ for a film version we got the beyond terrible Sylvester Stallone version back in 1995. They totally got the character wrong on nearly every level and possibly the most important one is that Dredd’s face is never seen, one of the main points is that he is the ‘faceless’ face of Justice in the futuristic city, Mega City One. Stallone took the helmet off after the first ten minutes and things got progressively worse from there. Joel Schumacher didn’t f**k up Batman as much as Stallone f**Ked up Dredd. Let us never mention that film again.


So fast forward to 2012 and we get a new version, written by lifelong Dredd fan Alex Garland. Thankfully the years have been kind and we have been served up THE Dredd movie. Yes you can quibble about that fact that Mega City One is totally different to its depiction in the comic books. It’s not a massively over the top, giant buildings crowding around each other metropolis, it looks more like a giant city of today with some giant buildings spread out across it. The costumes that the Judges wear are very different to the comic book depiction. There are a couple of reasons for this. One is the film’s budget was $45 million, which for a film of this ilk is really, really low budget. The other is down to the fact that nowadays, especially after the success of Batman Begins and Iron Man it seems setting these comic book movies in a ‘realistic’ world are a bit of the in thing. To be fair this actually works in the movie’s favour, making this world much more accessible to the casual Dredd fan such as myself and the non-Dredd fan that has yet to delve into this world of Judges etc. Oh and the new Judge costume’s kick arse.


Sticking to a very lean and mean plot line this steamrollers along at a terrific pace, building up on elements of this world as we go. The violence is very bloody and nasty, there are people getting shot to bits, blown up and skinned alive. The characters are pretty much spot on as far as I can tell. Thirlby as Anderson is the films heart and soul. She is the rookie Judge who still can feel compassion and regret and is the perfect foil for Urban. Taking away his eyes, for Dredd never, NEVER EVER, takes that helmet off means that his performance relies on the rest of his body. The way he moves, talks, the type of voice he has. And he is Dredd. Totally and unequivocally focused on the letter of the law. He is a near immoveable object. When told that Anderson only just failed and they feel there is a question over whether she should be given another chance Dredd’s response is a terse “She failed”. Despite the fact that you could call Dredd a ‘fascist b*stard’ or even a ‘total c*nt’ which to be fair he kind of is, he’s still a riveting character and the film is never quite as good when he’s off-screen.


This was my first 3D movie since Avatar and I have to say I was really impressed. Okay it’s not 3D fantastic like Avatar but the scenes where the 3D really do improve this movie and make it something special are the scenes involving people taking a new narcotic know as ‘Slo-Mo’. This drug makes the world move at about 1% of its normal speed, allowing for some awesome shots of a person splashing in the bath or in one jaw dropping scene, watching Dredd and Anderson take down a ‘Slo-Mo’ drug den with bullets tearing bodies apart and showering blood in all directions. In slow motion. In 3D. Love it.


I really hope that this film does well so that we can get more movies made. Not only is it pretty much an Independent British film but Urban’s performance as Dredd is so good I just want to see him play this role again and from the sounds of it the film makers plans for sequels sound too good to not see. I would gladly go and see this film again and again at the cinema, not something I’ve thought of doing for quite some years now. It’s not a date movie and it sure is very violent, and gorily violent at that, but for me, this is by far the best comic book adaption since 300.

THE EXPENDABLES 2 - film review

Coerced into doing a job for Mr Church (Bruce Willis) after the previous job (see The Expendables) went a bit sour, Barney Ross’s (Sylvester Stallone) Expendables find themselves on the wrong side of dastardly Jean Vilain (Jean-Claude Van Damme) and Hector (Scott Adkins), leaders of a team of mercenaries who are after stock piled nuclear weapons. Following the death of one of the Expendables Ross’s plan is simple, “Find ‘em, Track ‘em, Kill ‘em”. You know it’s gonna get noisy when you hear lines like that.

Finally being able to get out to the cinema after over a year was a joyous occasion and what better movie to share it with than this, the follow up to one of the most fun actioners of recent years and this time Stallone has worked his magic and got not only Jean-Claude Van Damme (JCVD) and Chuck Norris in, he’s also got Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis to play much larger roles than the one scene in the first movie. Be warned what follows may contain so teeny tiny spoilers but nothing I think that would spoil anyone’s enjoyment of the movie.

Let’s start with the bad. A similar problem from the first film is carried over, sadly. There are rather too many guys in the mix. Jet Li sadly gets lost again, only appearing in the opening action scene before he departs, hopefully to make a come back in movie number 3. Couture and Crews again suffer from a dearth of screen time but thankfully Dolph Lundgren is on good form, as is JCVD who is obviously having a ball playing the villain of the piece. Both Stallone and The Stath (Jason Statham) are on top form too, but more on that later. The storyline is pretty thin, possibly thinner than the first film, although that also is kind of a strength. Less time on plot means more time on blowing things up. There’s also a couple of bits with some not quite brilliant CGI, lets just say Motorbike Vs helicopter and Plane Vs Bridge and you’ll see what I mean. However in the films defence this film cost $100 million which in today’s Big Blockbuster Movie club is pretty cheap and when you think some of the guys in this usually command near $20 million for their fee alone I think I can live with a bit of not Avatar quality CGI in a couple of bits if it means they can get this cast on the screen.

There’s a very different feel to this movie. The tone is not as serious as the first movie. There are a lot more jokes and in-jokes about the cast and it all feels a bit more of a romp at times than a serious action pic. I quite liked the feel of it and it in no way detracts from the action bits (patience I’m getting there) although I would say I hope come the next film that they won’t make it quite so jokey and get a bit more serious.

Right we’ve got the boring bits out of the way. Let’s get on to the main reason you want to see a film like this. The action. Just like the first movie this doesn’t disappoint. The opening of the film has a nice big action scene with lots of explosions and shooting and Jet Li having a fantastic fight scene, better than anything he was allowed to do in the first movie. Sadly for us that’s it for him in this movie as he departs soon after although it’s nice to see Dolph’s character looking genuinely heartbroken when Li says he may not be back. A nice turnaround for these two characters after what happened with them in the first movie. Things slow down a little after that but pick up once JCVD and his henchman Hector played by rather superb British martial artist Scott Adkins arrive. Watching Adkins’ character punk out and make The Stath his bitch is quite superb to see, especially as Stath was pretty much the manliest of men in the first film. You so know when these two meet again it’s going to be pretty special (and OOOOOOH it is, knife versus knuckle dusters is all I’m saying). Bringing in Chuck Norris for a couple of bits is great fun, especially as Norris comes out with a blooming Chuck Norris fact. Brilliant. It’s also rather good to have Arnie back in the mix. Watching him get to shoot some baddies and shout “I’m back” is a cheer worthy moment, indeed a few people in the screening did cheer. Stallone and JCVD make perfect adversaries to one another and their fight, albeit a tad on the short side is pretty darn good. Great to see JCVD in a cinema film again (fingers crossed the new Universal Soldier movie which also has Scott Adkins and Dolph Lundgren in gets a cinema release) and he revels in every second, his villain is perfect old school Bond baddie.

This isn’t a perfect film but if you want an action film that is just totally and unashamedly fun then this is truly Fifty Shades of F**king Awesome. Roll on The Expendables 3 which apparently already has the existing cast signed up as well as newbies Nic Cage and potentially Clint Eastwood and maybe, finally Steven Seagal. Bring. It. On.

Quentin tarantino & Me - A Love Story

My ongoing love-hate relationship with Quentin Tarantino is well documented amongst my friends. You only have to ask the cast of my school production of Once in a Lifetime when I portrayed a mad German film director to know that there was a time when I obsessed about QT. Pulp Fiction still stands the test of time as a terrific film but also holds a special place in my heart because it opened my eyes to films that were all about the dialogue. Way before I got into Elmore Leonard books, a writer who so obviously informed QT’s dialogue style no end, this was the one that made me go WOW. There’s not a massive plot, there’s not much ‘action’ but there is a hell of a lot of talking and damn doesn’t it just sound so cool. I was at school and was getting into writing stage scripts. QT really got me into writing, and mainly trying to get some great dialogue. Not necessarily in the same style but good dialogue, maybe even ‘cool’ dialogue. I devoured Reservoir Dogs when it eventually emerged onto VHS (this was in the day when it was pretty much banned on video), Jackie Brown I really enjoyed but it wasn’t quite as good as Pulp Fiction (though it did have the coolest actor on the planet Samuel L Jackson in it) but then things got tricky when Kill Bill came out. I should be a bit more precise, Kill Bill Volume 1. On paper this sounded like a great idea. Tarantino was going to make a throw back to the exploitation revenge movies that he grew up loving, with Uma Thurman as a kick ass female assassin going after the men who tried to kill her, all leading up to the big man, Bill. This sounded great. Then came the news that the film was soooooooo long they were going to split it into two films. Okay that didn’t sound brilliant. Most exploitation revenge movies were short and sweet, nearer 90 minutes than 240 but hey it’s Tarantino. What could go wrong? Quite a f**king lot in my opinion. Kill Bill was a huge damp squib. Within minutes of the film beginning alarm bells were ringing in my head. Did he really just have a bleep over one of the characters talking? A name bleeped out? That’s a bit pants. As the film went on the idea that this was fast paced action film of the two (as all the pre-publicity kept droning on and on about) became more and more bullsh*t. The film is pedestrian paced, only really coming alive for the final slaughter-a-thon at the end, which admittedly is pretty superb. I left the cinema feeling very let down. Apart from a couple of bits it wasn’t really very good. I bypassed Volume 2 at the cinema and watched it on dvd. It’s better but still beset by problems. The ‘death list 5’ which is so prevalent in the first film isn’t mentioned, the complete change to more of a western style is quite jarring and it’s just overall a bit ‘meeh’. Again there are some great moments. Uma Thurman’s fight with Daryl Hannah is fantastic and the final, downbeat finale with Bill is quite nicely played. It’s just not great. I was distraught, here was my idol who’d made three terrific films and now for his fourth it was, well ordinary. After this I joked that any future film would be his ongoing apology for Kill Bill. Up pops Death Proof. After hunting down the script online (I say hunting down, it was more a case of put it in google search and there it is) I had a read. This was much, much better than Kill Bill but although there was some great dialogue the films plot was a bit weak. The film basically consists of (spoilersspoilerspoilers) a group of girls meet up, go to a bar and talk. A lot. A creepy man sees them there, gets a lap dance off one of them then when the girls leave he crashes his car into them killing them all but survives himself because his car is a stunt car and he was protected by roll cage etc. Another group of girls meet up and talk, a lot. Creepy guy tries to kill them but the tables are turned and the girls chase him and eventually beat him to death. That is pretty much what happens. So no great shakes storywise. I know neither was Pulp Fiction but it had more to it than this. Seeing the film however was completely different. Sure the story is the same but on screen it all works so much better. But it still wasn’t great. QT had gone up a fair few notches but hadn’t yet retained the pedestal I’d put him on in my teens. Which brings me to Inglourious Basterds, QT’s spaghetti western styled World War II movie. Again I hunted down the script online and gave it a read. I was a little disappointed. After being promised a ‘men on a mission’ movie ala The Dirty Dozen this was anything but. The ‘Basterds’ of the title are barely in the movie and the main chunk of the film is about a Jewish girl working in a cinema. There were a couple of great scenes but overall it was a bit of a ‘meh’ script when reading it. All the good work QT had done with Death Proof was about to be crushed. Then I went to the cinema to see it. There are a few differences in the finished movie to the script but it just comes alive on screen, thanks mainly to two actors. Brad Pitt and one Christoph Waltz. Pitt looks like he is having a ball as Aldo Raine the leader of the ‘Basterds’ and as for Waltz, well his Hans Landa is one of the most fantastic creations imaginable. He is truly stunning. The film could do with being trimmed here and there in each scene in my opinion but it is as close to Pulp Fiction as QT has got. A lot of people have even labelled it his masterpiece but I think they were jumping the gun. They haven’t seen Django Unchained yet. To be fair neither have I. It’s not due out in the US until December and unlikely to open in the UK until January 2013. What I have done is read the script. And it is good. It is really, really good. It’s easily his best since Pulp Fiction. He’s created two superb characters in Django, a freed slave and Dr King Schultz, an ex-dentist turned Bounty Hunter and the footage that was screened in Cannes earlier this week has had a glowing reception. If the film is anyway near as good as the written script, and with Waltz taking the role of King Schultz and a certain Mr Leonardo Di Caprio making is QT bow as a villain this surely will be something to behold. Without wanting to jinx it, this could be his masterpiece. So QT you’re back on the pedestal. Maybe I don’t obsess or worship you like I did when I was a teen but you’re back to making some pretty damn good movies. And I’ll salute you for that.