THE EXPENDABLES - film review

Given that I saw this at the cinema way back in September and it’s just been released on DVD I thought it was probably about time to put my review of it up on my blog.

This film is Stallone’s love letter to 80s action movies. It comes with the prerequisite thin plot (team of mercenaries are hired to go into a South American country and kill the dictator in charge. Two mercs do a recce, find out it’s not for them and leave but because a female contact there decides to stay despite being given a chance to leave which plays on the conscience of the hero, he leads his team back in to rescue her and take down the baddies), has some ropey acting, some small attempts at characters and has a cast normally seen on the sleeves of straight to video movies. What it also has is lots of action.

I find it very hard to fault this film which really does wear its retro-heart on its sleeve. It’s not very long (90 minutes without the end credits) and things are kept moving along at a brisk pace. There’s some comedy moments mixed in, a wonderful little scene where Mickey Rourke gives an acting master class to his co-stars and some proper ‘boo-hiss’ villains led by Eric Roberts and a gigantic looking Steven Austin (not the Six Million Dollar Man but ex-wrestler ‘Stone Cold Steve Austin’) who plays the baddie henchman so well that his surely has set the standard now.

With its well publicised ‘dream action cast’ there are some who are lost in the mix. Jet Li doesn’t have a huge amount to do although his fight with Dolph Lundgren is pretty fun, neither really does Terry Crews or Randy Couture. Dolph Lundgren has a ball with a fairly small part but this film is really Stallone and The Stath’s (that’s Jason Statham in case you all forgot) party and they are a very watchable double act. Oh yeah and there’s a small scene with some guy who wore a vest once and a Governor who may be an android killing machine from the future….

As with any action film ultimately it doesn’t matter if the plot is a bit wanky, or if the acting is not of Oscar winning standard. Nor does it matter if the dialogue is full of cheese. We don’t care as long as we get lots of bang for our bucks. Well for me this has it in spades. Following on from Stallone’s ‘goreathon massacre-fest’ which was Rambo, he’s dialled back the blood and guts (although there’s still a hefty amount) and crafted a fun, lots of big men shooting and beating each other up sort of action fest. He’s also a dab hand at extended climatic action scenes as this one cranks things up for a frantic 20 minute shoot ‘em up where everyone gets involved. The Stath and Li take on British martial artist Gary Daniels in a fast and brutal fight, Terry Crews has a VERY, VERY loud gun which cuts people in half and Stallone and Austin engage in one of the best punch ups I’ve ever seen on the big screen, it’s no surprise that Sly had his neck broken while filming this bit, it shows.

This is just big dumb fun at its most entertaining. I loved it and I’m not ashamed to admit it. I could watch this over and over again. I just really, really hope Stallone can talk Jean-Claude Van Damme and the rumoured Chuck Norris into turning up for Expendables 2.